FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
