Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
