So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
