sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
