Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
