I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
