Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
