Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize