if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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