Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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