It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
