Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
