I heard we made out
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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