Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
