No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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