well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
