never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
