Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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