like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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