i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
