question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
did i just pee glitter
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
