You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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