I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
