I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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