i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
