pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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