You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You need Xanax blowdarts
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My feet surprised me
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