watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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