But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
