They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
