Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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