He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
