Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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