We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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