I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
