just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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