I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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