Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
