He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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