If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The power of my boobs compel you
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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