Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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