At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize