I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
