Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i've created a new STD.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
