tonight lets celebrate not being married
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
