I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
