i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
