last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
