So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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