just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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