You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize