rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
