I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
