she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
