i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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