Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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