I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
