Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
