I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
