wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize