I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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