i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize