I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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