big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
