This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
