what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
