i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize