you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
