i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
