Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize