I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
