Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
