I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
