White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
