Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
