After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
