You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
