So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
